Finding the real ME
(actually penned on 8-1-2009)
“All there is, is but his glory. He is more than all of this. All of
creation is just a quarter of Him, while three quarters of Him are eternally in
heaven”
(PuruSHA Suktam, Mantra 3)
“All variations come forth from Purusha. Thus, from within He
assumed multiple forms. He grew immensely fathoming the entire cosmos
(brahmanda)”
(PuruSHA Suktam,Mantra 5)
A chain of events in the last one year and reflections on it led to
the understanding and insights about what this means to me in life. The
insights sprang from the reflections on ‘why do I need to relate?’ ‘What does
relationship mean to me?’ ‘What is the meaning of all that happens in the
relationship?’ ‘Where does this lead me to?’ ‘What is the essence I need to carry
finally?’
My insights –
Well, I am a part of the creator and so are you, and so is everyone
else. But in order to remain away from creator as a separate part is the
‘illusion’. When that illusion comes to awareness there is an understanding
that my vision ultimately is to travel and become a part of this cosmos as I
was initially. This form that has been given to me is what separates me from
the Brahman or PuruSHA. So, my identity to this form is what creates my
separation.
But how do I join this cosmos ultimately? One is to continue to let
go every identity to such a deep extent that I become ‘nothing’ and therefore
‘everything’. Or to know myself and my every part to such an extent that, I
include every part of the universe into me that I become the universe myself.
In the former, I move away completely from all stimulus and relationships. In
the later I understand myself from every relationship and stimulus that I can
raise myself above all that and transcend. These are not two different paths
actually but perhaps a sequel. The need to let go will be natural when I have
transcended. But that let go is more special because it is an ‘outcome’ and not
a ‘means’.
Well, what do these
relationships mean then?
If I am part of the PuruSHA and so are others, this is a kind of web
world. To complete myself I require others and when I am on that journey I meet
people who actually are the other side of me who will help me find myself. They
reflect to me a part of me so that I know that part and can transcend that part
by including it into me. Every individual is none other than a reflection of
something I need to know.
Therefore, when that reflection is realized, the purpose of that
‘person’ ceases and one moves on. Sometimes, when I do not understand this I fail
to see both dissonance and alignment as the same. I see them as separate.
Anything I see separate causes distinction leading me to again identify with
‘my form’ taking me away, further away from Cosmos. Identification makes the
Ego come into play pushing the consciousness away.
So people come, people go, relatedness happens, relatedness ceases.
Yes, in some web connections which are needed to sustain larger purpose,
‘relationships’ happens and remains for so called ‘longer period’ which may to
be to the human brain ‘lifetime’ but is actually a fraction in the ‘yojana’
time period (light years). A SadPuruSHA is able to recognize this easily and
therefore can transcend time and space leading to being a SadGuru.
How do I then explain some
relatedness that are there for a while, gone and then come back?
We do say ‘It’s never the same again’ when a relationship comes back
in life. It is so because it is not meant to be the same again when both have
transcended. When relatedness with a person comes back what does it mean? It
means there is more to know, and this web connection is required to know more
about self. How can I know more by wanting to live in the same realm that I
have already been in? I need to be willing to the new space to know the new
that is ME.
How do I then know the difficulties in relatedness and relationships
that I face?
They are simply for me areas that, I have not explored, the unseen.
The difficulty is only in the way they get presented, but not in the knowledge
of self. They come in the way they come and cause a difficulty because I am not
prepared to receive or refuse to receive. Preparation would mean being ready to
reflect, receiving would mean openness and non-judgmental.
What do relationships mean then?
When the relatedness becomes relationship, it has a larger role to
play. It is like the web connection that is on for several other connections
and therefore there is a greater level of alignment. It can be so deep that a
learning and change in one can be reflected into the other seamlessly. I feel
the other, without a need for words and expressions.
What does this mean to me?
All this understanding means that there are two death knells to this
process – one bonding and holding on; the other preempting the outcomes in the
name of expectations. When I am willing to just ‘be’ and ‘flow’ the messages come;
when I reflect the ‘expansion’ happens.
I need to do this to throw open the doors of awareness about myself.
That is the path to enlightenment – if I may call it so. When I continue to
relate, learn, reflect, expand, grow…. I journey from micro to macro. And there
comes a time when I know I am no longer just me, but the cosmos itself. I
transcend, time, distance, space and pulsate with the pulsation of the world.
“Aham Brahmasmi”
It is this journey that is the real commitment and this me the ‘real
me’; all else is ‘mitya’.
